I need to stop coming to work sober
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
did i just pee glitter
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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