theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
