I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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