her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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