He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
