I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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