if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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