Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
