I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
