Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
