As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
