Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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