There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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