My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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