Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Watching her eat just hurts me
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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