pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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