Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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