My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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