My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
