just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
