Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
please come you make the beer taste better
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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