Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
