Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
