Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
