She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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