he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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