The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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