that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize