Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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