You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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