she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
