I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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