Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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