You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
