Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
