this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
