i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
