In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
