I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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