i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
