Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
