Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
