cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
