i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize