i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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