hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
