R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
