I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
