I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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