have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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