normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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