Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
