my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
