does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize