In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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