So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just google imaged poop.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
