There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
