dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
only if we run a train.
done.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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