Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
