remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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