oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
