they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize