Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
