For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
