I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You are a genius and a whore.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
