I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he thought i was a dude.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize