You work out of a Hotel?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
