Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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