some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
