Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
